Week 17 ~ Invercargill // Highs and Lows

Invercargill was a combination of brilliant and terrible. There were some great moments, such as going to Bluff - southernmost town in New Zealand - for the first time. And being billeted with 8 of my team mates which was a good bonding time with fun games and movie evenings. Oh and collecting pretty stones and watching a very unique sunset at the beach was lovely. But although there were some beautiful moments throughout this week, there were also some really tough times towards the end of it. Our tour manager received news of a family death, it was unexpected and the team grieved with him. I was so tired and it hit me pretty hard. I started to feel homesick for my family and really over the tour lifestyle.

Getting out of bed on those freezing Southern mornings is really difficult but you just have no choice. The team depends on you, the tour depends on you, there's no room to just stay in bed and call a sick day. You just have to push through by God's grace and truly His GRACE was evident. Because I will admit that in a few instances I chose to not listen to God's voice throughout this week. I love God, passionately. And I was waking up in the mornings saying, "Lord, I can't do this without you!" But even amidst that, I know I made choices that didn't truly honour His Word and where He wanted to lead me. I praise God for His goodness in still being by my side even when I filled my mind with my own dreams instead of His, when I pursued my own pleasures rather than those of the Kingdom, when I sat on the fence instead of making a solid decision on the road I knew was right.

I feel a pang of disappointment in myself looking back.

I know I made wrong decisions.

I realise how that changed things moving forward.

Even so, one cannot change their past. They can, however, learn from those mistakes and resolve to not make those same ones again.

It was not my most glamorous time on tour that's for sure... But I know I learnt a lot from it all and in the end, life is a lot about being a learner!

To go out on a positive note - my friends were there for me one hundred percent in my weakness. I finally found the bravery to tell my sisters that tour had shown me how broken I was and when I did, they supported and encouraged me. When I was homesick my brothers hugged me and prayed for me. When I didn't know how to go on the most unexpected person spoke words of life and truth and affirmation over me. Another friend opened up and trusted me with their own struggles which blessed me to know I could be there for them too and we could help each other.

The people walking alongside you really do make a difference through life's highs and lows!