But the fight in me remains
I am weary, I am worn
Like I’ve never been before
This is harder than I thought
Harder than I thought it’d be
Taking every part of me
So much harder than I thought it’d be
But empty’s never felt so full
This is what love feels like
Poured out, used up, still giving,
stretching me out to the end of my limits
This is what real love feels like
Poured out, used up still willing to fight for it
This is what love feels like
Like floating confetti
The beautiful gets messy
When the fall out finds the floor
But in the depths of the trenches
Is the richest of riches
Love is calling us to more
It’s worth everything you put in...
Love"
// Love Feels Like by TobyMac ft. DC Talk
Above describes me in week 18 of EXCEL Performing Arts Tour 2015. In my last post I wrote about some lows I experienced in week 17. Well... The lows got lower and Dunedin is when I hit my rock bottom.
Monday 31st August
I read a verse that said "Those who wept as they went out carrying the seed will come back singing for joy, as they bring in the harvest." Psalm 126:6 When I wrote this in my journal, I don't think I realised just how prophetic that would be for the coming week! As I went about my work for the Lord I would cry many times and find the task very hard but would later be joyful for the fruit I know it grew for the Kingdom.
Thursday 3rd September
"I feel weary this evening. I'm tired of tour and the huge emotional toll it's taking. I want to stay positive for these last few weeks but it's jolly hard and I'm struggling to keep my head up."
Friday 4th September
"I've got nothing left, God. What happens on that stage has to be YOU. Work in me."
Sunday the 6th of September
"This morning I broke down just before the show. Steve and Kevin prayed for me but I knew that if I got on that stage it would be all God and 0% me because I was weak and utterly empty."
...So there's a peek at how my week looked! Sorry if this freaks you out. I know this isn't the kind of attitude you usually promote of yourself. We have things like Facebook and Instagram these days that we tend to just post the good stuff on. We make our lives look happy and glorious, letting others see the pictures we like of ourselves and telling of our accomplishments, anniversaries and celebrations. Well, here's a look at how not perfect I am. A view of how not easy tour was. A public declaration that I could not go on by myself, I did not have the strength, I was not self-sufficient and certainly was not capable of perfection.
HOWEVER!!! (And praise God that there is a however...)
My sweet Jesus saved the day when He said,
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Monday 31st August
I read a verse that said "Those who wept as they went out carrying the seed will come back singing for joy, as they bring in the harvest." Psalm 126:6 When I wrote this in my journal, I don't think I realised just how prophetic that would be for the coming week! As I went about my work for the Lord I would cry many times and find the task very hard but would later be joyful for the fruit I know it grew for the Kingdom.
Thursday 3rd September
"I feel weary this evening. I'm tired of tour and the huge emotional toll it's taking. I want to stay positive for these last few weeks but it's jolly hard and I'm struggling to keep my head up."
Friday 4th September
"I've got nothing left, God. What happens on that stage has to be YOU. Work in me."
Sunday the 6th of September
"This morning I broke down just before the show. Steve and Kevin prayed for me but I knew that if I got on that stage it would be all God and 0% me because I was weak and utterly empty."
...So there's a peek at how my week looked! Sorry if this freaks you out. I know this isn't the kind of attitude you usually promote of yourself. We have things like Facebook and Instagram these days that we tend to just post the good stuff on. We make our lives look happy and glorious, letting others see the pictures we like of ourselves and telling of our accomplishments, anniversaries and celebrations. Well, here's a look at how not perfect I am. A view of how not easy tour was. A public declaration that I could not go on by myself, I did not have the strength, I was not self-sufficient and certainly was not capable of perfection.
HOWEVER!!! (And praise God that there is a however...)
My sweet Jesus saved the day when He said,
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
And so,
"Now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
