One of my very favourite memories from the entire tour happened in this week! We had a bit of a drive to do from Nelson down to Christchurch. It was so beautiful and even though I was tired and wanted to sleep I stayed awake to watch out the window as we drove. The best part though was when we just came through the Lewis Pass and pulled over to have our first SNOW ENCOUNTER! An immediate war ensued with snow balls being flung everywhere, ice shoved down each others' tops, smack cams, absolute chaos! It was honestly such a fun time and it made me really grateful for the family I found in this bunch of people.
I've mentioned before that we have the blessing of getting to hear from different pastors and leaders throughout our time on tour. It's great having input from various points of view and hearing how God speaks through people. In Christchurch, Elim Church wanted to put on an evening of teaching, worship and prayer for us to just enjoy and be filled and be prayed for etc. It was a very valuable time, the pastor there brought a word, the music was refreshing and many of us enjoyed it. However, at the end of the evening I wasn't a ball of joy bouncing around praising Jesus. In fact I was kind of the opposite. I sat on my chair at the end lost in thoughts. Why? I was challenged. I didn't feel excited, I felt confused. I felt tension, not peace. I went home that evening and wrote to God,
"Sometimes I wish we could just go to church, get our joy-fix and go home Spirit-filled and ready to take on life with boldness, excitement and care-free minds... But what I'm finding is as I actually choose to listen to what God is saying through the pastor, I'm challenged. I walk away thinking deeply and wrestling against things. I'm sometimes confused or deeply moved or still searching. A quick prayer or praise song at the end doesn't change it. I must now journey though the issue the Holy Spirit has shown me. Following Jesus is not easy."
Very often I leave church feeling on top of the world, but actually choosing to follow Christ isn't all a warm, fuzzy time. I think it's super important to allow ourselves to be challenged. To ask the big questions of ourselves. Where is your heart at with Jesus? Do your thoughts and actions align? Are you willing to say yes to God even when you don't like what He's telling you to do or not do?
Living for God does bring much joy, a joy indescribable, set in the very depths of my soul. But it brings also conviction and a desire to live in a way that honours and glorifies my King. In those times I must remember that I'm not working through my issues alone. Jesus understands and the Holy Spirit is helping me to see things through Heaven's eyes.
"Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don't act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like." James 1:22-24 MSG
About Me
- Sonya.
- I hope that what I post here and what you read may in some way encourage, challenge, inspire, or simply interest you... The Week 1 - 21 posts are a series dedicated to EXCEL School of Performing Arts Tour 2015. It's impossible to capture the whole experience, but here I choose to share at least one thing I learnt in each week of XLTT15.
