One of the hardest weeks of tour, hands down! The whole Auckland stint was so intense just with the amount of schools and particularly the distance between everything. Tiredness, lack of communication, and I think familiarity of the place led to a bit of downfall among our team in Auckland. We lacked the focus and unity we had built up. Literal thank God that we found it again as time progressed but we did have some tense days, short tempers, and heavy emotions at this point.
MY main struggle was in my desire for professionalism. A lot of the basics went out the window as people got tired or couldn't be bothered. Simple things like: bringing food and water, staying quiet side of stage, keeping humour and language clean, choosing not to gossip, wearing our tees and costumes in schools. Honestly I got so frustrated at people and the messy state our team was in. I didn't understand why these common sense things weren't happening or why things were all so slack and I started getting angry and upset over it.
I remember one show in particular where I had just had enough of trying to encourage my teammates. I was totally over it. What was the point? Nothing ever changed. They continued to make those choices and so I bowed out, took myself to a corner and shut up. It was that night that I realised I had let this stuff get to me... I had gone overboard. The perfectionist in me was strangling the life and fun out of everything I did. It was at the point where I even felt angry and bitter when my friends were laughing and having a good time. I'd be thinking, "This is our job, this is our responsibility, can you not take it seriously for one minute!?!?!" Writing this now I cringe at myself and feel sorry for my friends who had to put up with that attitude of mine - sincere apologies, friends. BUT I am very glad that God showed me how yuck that way of thinking was because although I still maintained high standards, I also began to learn to have more fun and to let go and not get so stressed over the little things of life.
One way God brought me back to reality and out of that narrow mind set I had going on was through inspiring a 14 or 15 yr old boy named Luke. We had a mid-week evening youth event on the North Shore and afterwards when people were just chilling I had withdrawn from the group and gone back into the auditorium. There I noticed a boy holding an icepack on his head and I felt Holy Spirit prompt me to pray for him. The pain in his head decreased significantly and his blurry vision came back to 100% clarity - praise God! After I'd prayed I was sharing with him a bit of my journey especially with praying for healing. This young man then thanked me, not for the actual healing, but for the bravery to step out and pray for it. He told me he often wants to do that type of thing but holds back. I just saw so much faith, maturity and potential in young Luke. This experience really touched me because it was like God was saying, "See, Sonya, these are the moments that make it worth it. Never mind all the little details, THIS is what matters." I hope Luke took courage from that and was inspired to step out. Who knows how far the ripple effect will reach!
Another really special moment for me from this week was after performing at Sacred Heart College - a 1600 strong all boys school - I was standing at the back of the hall beside my principal, John, and he turns to me and says, "You know you really have grown, Sonya. When you arrived at EXCEL last year you were like a little girl. Up on that stage I saw you as a young woman." Cue the tears! Words like that from someone I so admire and respect really meant the world.
So despite the difficulties and all my growling, complaining, telling off and general grumpiness... I learnt some very important lessons and took some real treasures away from week 9.
